Letter to Myself: Jo Knowles
Posted by annastan on August 23rd, 2010. Filed under: Guest Post, Letter to Myself.Here is the next installment of the “Letter to Myself” series in which authors write letters to their younger writer selves giving encouragement, advice, or words of warning. Today’s letter comes from YA author Jo Knowles. I have the pleasure of knowing Jo personally, and I can tell you she is just as warm and genuine in real life as she is in this letter. Enjoy!
Dear Me, sixteen years ago:
This is where I see you at your most vulnerable: You are sitting in the parking lot at Whole Foods (back then it was called Bread and Circus) in Hadley Massachusetts. You are crying, because when you tried to pay for your groceries with your bank card, it was denied. You are also crying because you just moved from the city to a strange place where the best job you could find was a part-time gig at a library for $6/hour. You are in love, but you are scared that you and your boyfriend are in over your heads. You just finished graduate school and this is not what you expected. You wrote 3/4 of a YA novel for your graduate thesis, but you’re pretty sure you will never finish it. And even if you do, it will never be good enough to publish.
Oh Me, you are a very sad sight. Let me whisper a few things in your ear. Stop crying a minute so you can hear me.
In a few weeks, you’ll be in that new library, trying not to cry again. You’ll be cleaning up the bulletin board and you’ll see a flyer announcing a meeting for children’s book writers run by a group called SCBWI, which you’ve never heard of. Trust me, this organization will change your writing life. Right there, under your feet, in the cold, smelly basement of the library.
That night, you’ll go home and open the book Robert Cormier recently signed for you. In the back, you’ll see where he wrote his address, telling you to send him your manuscript when you finish it. You’ll think he was just being nice, but later you’ll learn that, while nice, he was also sincere.
But focus on now. You will finish that novel and polish the first chapter. You’ll scrape together $2 so you can attend the SCBWI meeting at the library. You’ll go for three months before you get up the courage to read that first chapter. But when you do, you will be welcomed into the fold by a group of women who will become life-long friends. They will tell you not to give up. They will call you a writer. They will be there for you through marriage, the birth of your child, tearful rejection letters, and finally, your first sale.
You were right about that first novel. It will never be good enough to publish. But you will learn from it. Keep writing. Keep going to those meetings in that cold, smelly basement. Gather feedback from those wonderful writer friends.
Yes, there will be more bounced checks. More rejections. Struggles. Doubt. Heartbreak. Instead of letting those disappointments stop you, let them fuel you to go deeper. Take more risks. Hang on to what works and let go of the rest.
One day—and I’m sorry to say it’s a long, long way off—but one day, you WILL get “the call.” But only if you don’t give up. Only if you dare to write the stories you already know in your heart you need to tell. Be brave. Embrace the truths you uncover no matter how ugly or beautiful. Trust me. Everything is going to be fine. And when it is, turn around, look at the new writers you meet who want to know if and when it will happen for them, and tell them the exact same thing.
Jo Knowles is the author of the YA novels Lessons From A Dead Girl, Jumping Off Swings, and Pearl (coming Spring 2011). Jo teaches writing for children in the MA/MFA program at Center for the Study of Children’s Literature at Simmons College. She lives in Vermont with her husband and son.
(The photo is of Jo’s younger writer self, sixteen years ago.)
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:28 am
Thank you, Jo!
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:33 am
This is one of my fav series on the interwebz…truly! LOVE THIS LETTER. THANK YOU
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:50 am
Thoughtful post, which is exactly what we expect from Jo, but one that resonates deeply. It’s all about believing fully in our dreams and in our ability to achieve them.
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:51 am
Oh, this is lovely. Thanks so much, Jo and Anna. I love that moment in the library where you see the poster for SCBWI and I as the reader knew everything was going to change. It did for me, too!
August 23rd, 2010 at 9:32 am
I love this letter, Jo. The idealism, the disillusionment, the happy ending… Beautiful.
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:01 am
Thanks SO much, Jo. This letter may have been written to yourself 16 years ago, but resonates with every writer reading this post. Thank you for sharing your journey and inspiring us to keep traveling our own road to authorship.
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:13 am
Another terrific letter!
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:29 am
Very inspiring (and sad…glad that’s past for you!) Great letter, Jo! Thanks for the series, Anna! Great idea.
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:33 am
This brought tears to my eyes! Jo, you and Peter look almost exactly the same!
Love to you and hooray for not giving up! xoxo
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:56 am
Wonderful letter. This is such a great idea, and a reminder to remember that it’s not an easy path!
August 23rd, 2010 at 11:32 am
Look at that, you made a grown man cry.
August 23rd, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Clearly you have posted the wrong photo, because that looks exactly like Jo today. Only her charming young man is a bit grayer these days, so maybe you’re right about it being an older photo. But only maybe.
Love this. Thanks, both of you, for it.
August 23rd, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Thanks for the sweet comments, everyone!
xo
Jo
August 23rd, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Anna–this series is PURE GENIUS.
Jo–Thank you so much for opening up to us, and letting us see a vulnerable moment in your life. We have so many of those, that we mainly try to hide.
Thank you both for sharing!!
August 23rd, 2010 at 1:21 pm
I loved reading this, Jo.
August 23rd, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Thanks for the comments, everyone! And thank you, Jo, for sharing your letter with us. As Heather Kelly said, hearing about others’ moments of vulnerability can help us through our own.
August 23rd, 2010 at 3:58 pm
That choked me up. I felt every bit of that journey from sad to fulfilled. Thank you so much.
August 23rd, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Thank you for sharing this!! Some of the very best moments happen in the local Library!
August 23rd, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Oh, I love this post!
August 23rd, 2010 at 5:17 pm
Great letter Jo. I felt your anguish sitting in that parking lot.
Your letter brings lots of inspiration to writers on the journey.
Plus, I loved JUMPING OFF SWINGS. Great book.
August 23rd, 2010 at 6:31 pm
Yay for cold smelly basements! Awesome letter!
August 23rd, 2010 at 6:56 pm
What a beautiful, heart-felt letter, Jo!
What a great series, Anna!
August 23rd, 2010 at 7:26 pm
Thank you, Jo, for your honesty and for your constant support. I hear your voice cheering me on during this journey and it means so much to me.
August 23rd, 2010 at 7:27 pm
This is awesome and so inspiring.
August 23rd, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Thanks so much for sharing this, Jo! Very encouraging.
August 23rd, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Thanks Anna for thinking of this series. And to Jo for sharing the hard parts of the road to being published. It was so encouraging.
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:24 pm
This is a beautiful, heartbreaking, inspiring letter. And a fabulous series. Thanks to both Jo and Anna for sharing!
Martina
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:45 pm
Thanks, Jo and Anna! I think we all needed that!
August 24th, 2010 at 2:30 am
Thanks, Jo, for sharing your heartfelt journey with us — lessons hard won and success well-deserved. You also touched upon what is also so important in this writing life — connection with others. We are all so lucky to be part of a wonderful children’s writing community — no matter how far-flung we might be.
And thanks, Anna, for this series. And to Sally for posting this link on the SCBWI-RA Listserve.
Linda
The Hague, The Netherlands
SCBWI NL
August 24th, 2010 at 8:38 am
Wow. Thanks for sharing this. e
August 24th, 2010 at 9:26 am
Uncanny! I, too, had a library job that paid six bucks an hour. I used to cry in the stacks, fretting about my writing life. I toast you, Joan. It does get better…
August 24th, 2010 at 9:30 am
Crying – I am probably a bit older than you, and still hanging in there. I have to believe that as I move on in my my life, these more and more experiences I earn are yet more fodder for my stories. I too found SCBWI later, and just formed a critique group. I revel in your success, and cannot wait to revel in mine. Thanks for sharing!
August 24th, 2010 at 10:35 am
What a wonderful post. Thank you, Jo!
August 24th, 2010 at 10:37 am
Jo, what a great letter. And what a great message. Sometimes it seems like we haven’t gotten far until we look back at the journey. Thanks. Jeanne
August 24th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Thanks Jo, for writing such a beautiful piece, so heartfelt, so moving—it is all the talk here at the SCBWI office. We have kept a scrapbook for the last 40 years called “Nice Letters To The SCBWI”–your blog just took a place on the first page
August 24th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Jo–
This is achingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing it…with your young self and with us!
xxoo Tam
August 24th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Great post, Jo. Thanks for sharing it, and congratulations on your journey. Rejections, doubt and heartbreak are often part of a writer’s journey, but persisting through them is what makes the difference. Well done, and thank you for the inspiration.
August 24th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Oh my goodness Jo! What an inspiring letter! I so wish, future me would write present me a letter … it would be a lot less scary knowing what will be in store!
I agree with you … SCBWI/NE-SCBWI is a godsend to children’s writers and illustrators. Thanks for sharing a part of yourself with us, and for persevering. The world is a better place with your voice in it!
August 24th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Oh, my. This brings tears to my eyes. For me it’s one of those ‘Why am I here, God?’ moments, that you come to realize later. Thanks for sharing your experience and writing it so well.
And thanks for posting the link, Sally.
August 24th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Nice. And yay, Jo! This is my first visit here, but it sure looks like a great place to bookmark!
August 24th, 2010 at 2:10 pm
You found me reaching out for inspiration and there you were. It’s time for me to let go of doubt and join the I am crowd. Thanks so much, Maralee
August 24th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Thank you for sharing this touching, beautiful letter.
August 24th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Loved your letter Jo. So thankful for libraries, writng pals, and SCBWI.
August 24th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
This is a beautiful letter, Jo.
It’s the small things one might take for granted, like flyers on a bulletin board, that can possibly change one’s outlook and life.
August 25th, 2010 at 8:43 am
Thanks again, everyone, for your thoughtful replies.
Love,
Jo
August 25th, 2010 at 11:22 am
I’m not an overly sentimental person, but this letter made me cry. I promise not to give up, too!
August 26th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
LOVE. THIS. Thank you both for sharing this beautiful and inspirational letter with us!
August 26th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Oh that made me want to cry! I love that. I love this whole feature. SCBWI changed my life too, btw.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:38 am
Well, that just about made me cry. Thanks, Jo. I needed to hear that, and I’m glad not to have to wait 16 years to tell it to myself.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Thank you, Jo and Anna.
August 31st, 2010 at 8:38 am
Wonderful post! Thanks to Jo for writing it, and to Anna for the series.
August 31st, 2010 at 8:54 am
Great letter! Very inspiring! Thanks, Jo!
September 8th, 2010 at 11:41 am
This post made me cry–but was so inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I may write a letter to my then-23-year-old self, too.
January 26th, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Can’t wait to see what you write yourself 16 years from now, Jo!
February 18th, 2011 at 8:21 am
that was awesome JO, gives me hope, altho i do have 2 books of poetry published, but poetry is a tougher sale i think, but i am not going to stop…