What Do You Look For In a First Line?
Posted by annastan on February 27th, 2012. Filed under: Craft, First Line Friday.Thanks to everyone who played the First Line game on Friday! It was so much fun reading all your story openings–talk about variety!
There were so many good ones that it was hard to pick my favorites, but I did want to highlight a few of the lines to illustrate what pulls me in when I read a story opening. Of course, everyone’s preferences will be different, but this is what works for me.
“The first time it happens I’m six years old, sitting on the playground next to a severed Barbie doll head.”–Sheri Larson
What I love about this line is the mystery it creates. The first time what happens? And the image of a severed Barbie head is pretty disturbing. Right away we have mystery and mood.
“Aunt Macy had planned out everything she needed for my Uncle Herbert’s funeral–except how best to kill him.”–John Rea-Headrick
This line has the type of dark sense of humor that instantly draws me in. And, again, there’s mystery: why does Aunt Macy want Uncle Herbert dead? No doubt, the story will tell us.
“Norma Cavendish has a terrible secret. I’m not sure I should even tell it to you.”–Mirka Breen
I’m intrigued by this voice. Who is this narrator? And will s/he tell us the secret? I wouldn’t be surprised if the narrator plays games with us throughout the story.
“Once, I had memories.”–Mandy
This is such a simple line, but it packs so much punch. What happened to this character’s memories and will s/he get them back? I also get a sort of hazy feeling from this line, which goes very well with the subject matter.
“The Mayor tiptoed to the end of the diving board, adjusted his tie, and leaped off, landing upside down in a pool of foam.”–Lilia
If there’s one thing I love, it’s wacky humor. And again, I’m left asking questions: Why on earth is the mayor jumping into a pool of foam? The line also gives a lot of great details so that I can already picture this character.
So, to recap:
Mystery! If a line has a sense of mystery, if it leaves me asking questions and wanting to know more, it pulls me in.
Atmosphere! If the line creates atmosphere–either through voice or mood or humor–it makes me feel like I’m already in the story.
That’s what works for me in a first line. What works for you?
February 27th, 2012 at 8:57 am
I never paid much attention to first lines, because I just always wanted to get going with the story, but lately it’s been first lines that get stuck in my head and force me to write. Like, entire revisions of things I really don’t have time for, all because the first line came to me and was just too good.
February 27th, 2012 at 8:58 am
You know, I think you’ve covered exactly what would pull me in. To atmosphere I would add setting. If well done it pulls me in because I want to _be_ there. Even if it is a roaring storm or a creepy fall apart house that is surely haunted. Thanks for the post and those first lines…oh. my!
February 27th, 2012 at 11:12 am
All of these are so good! Those are reasons I like a first line, too. Also when it evokes some kind of emotion in me that makes me want to keep on reading and find out more. If you can do that in the first line, then it’s a great one!
February 27th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
The Barbie head was my favorite, too.
I entered my first lines, but only 20 minutes ago, LOL.
February 27th, 2012 at 2:59 pm
It works for me that you liked one of mine…:) But seriously- I’m a lover of first lines. A voice beckons me through them.
February 28th, 2012 at 6:24 am
Wow! What incredible first lines! I would read any of these books! And they make my first line seem suddenly inadequate. *sigh*
Mystery and atmosphere are definitely what draw me in, too.