Here is the next installment of the “Letter to Myself” series in which authors write letters to their younger writer selves giving encouragement, advice, or words of warning. Today’s letter comes from YA author Jo Knowles. I have the pleasure of knowing Jo personally, and I can tell you she is just as warm and genuine in real life as she is in this letter. Enjoy!
Dear Me, sixteen years ago:
This is where I see you at your most vulnerable: You are sitting in the parking lot at Whole Foods (back then it was called Bread and Circus) in Hadley Massachusetts. You are crying, because when you tried to pay for your groceries with your bank card, it was denied. You are also crying because you just moved from the city to a strange place where the best job you could find was a part-time gig at a library for $6/hour. You are in love, but you are scared that you and your boyfriend are in over your heads. You just finished graduate school and this is not what you expected. You wrote 3/4 of a YA novel for your graduate thesis, but you’re pretty sure you will never finish it. And even if you do, it will never be good enough to publish.
Oh Me, you are a very sad sight. Let me whisper a few things in your ear. Stop crying a minute so you can hear me.
In a few weeks, you’ll be in that new library, trying not to cry again. You’ll be cleaning up the bulletin board and you’ll see a flyer announcing a meeting for children’s book writers run by a group called SCBWI, which you’ve never heard of. Trust me, this organization will change your writing life. Right there, under your feet, in the cold, smelly basement of the library.
That night, you’ll go home and open the book Robert Cormier recently signed for you. In the back, you’ll see where he wrote his address, telling you to send him your manuscript when you finish it. You’ll think he was just being nice, but later you’ll learn that, while nice, he was also sincere.
But focus on now. You will finish that novel and polish the first chapter. You’ll scrape together $2 so you can attend the SCBWI meeting at the library. You’ll go for three months before you get up the courage to read that first chapter. But when you do, you will be welcomed into the fold by a group of women who will become life-long friends. They will tell you not to give up. They will call you a writer. They will be there for you through marriage, the birth of your child, tearful rejection letters, and finally, your first sale.
You were right about that first novel. It will never be good enough to publish. But you will learn from it. Keep writing. Keep going to those meetings in that cold, smelly basement. Gather feedback from those wonderful writer friends.
Yes, there will be more bounced checks. More rejections. Struggles. Doubt. Heartbreak. Instead of letting those disappointments stop you, let them fuel you to go deeper. Take more risks. Hang on to what works and let go of the rest.
One day—and I’m sorry to say it’s a long, long way off—but one day, you WILL get “the call.” But only if you don’t give up. Only if you dare to write the stories you already know in your heart you need to tell. Be brave. Embrace the truths you uncover no matter how ugly or beautiful. Trust me. Everything is going to be fine. And when it is, turn around, look at the new writers you meet who want to know if and when it will happen for them, and tell them the exact same thing.
Jo Knowles is the author of the YA novels Lessons From A Dead Girl, Jumping Off Swings, and Pearl (coming Spring 2011). Jo teaches writing for children in the MA/MFA program at Center for the Study of Children’s Literature at Simmons College. She lives in Vermont with her husband and son.
(The photo is of Jo’s younger writer self, sixteen years ago.)